Let me start by saying, this is the famous autism episode.
Currently, I'm rewatching the paranormal soap opera, Ghost Whisperer. I love this show. I love the acting, the spoop factor, the message it promotes, but this episode just didn't sit right with me. I understand several things surrounding this episode, being produced in 2006 is one of them. The thinking in that time was not nearly as progressive as it is now, which helps explain the hurtful language in it.
Functioning labels are inappropriate when describing an autistic person, and they were used because they were the easiest way to describe the characters in question. They feel as if they're attempting to negate their communication skills, especially both characters weren't verbally communicative. Their brief description of autism almost made it sound like we're another species. The use of the word 'they' made it sound like the doctor was attempting to separate us and keep us on the fringes of society. Now, I have my doubts that this was their goal, and by this time I'm sure autistic voices were still being silenced, but it doesn't nullify the hurt that lingered after the episode.
Now, Melinda's patience, understanding, and even adoration toward both characters was refreshing, even her outrage at the mother of the female character, made my heart sing. Her attitude was "it's not their fault. they're people and deserve love just like everyone else" and that's something that's not often seen on early television shows. Hell, even buffy still used the word "retarded", but I still love the show nonetheless, just like this one.
Since Ghost Whisperer was designed to reach the female demographic, it's got a more sensitive feel, almost motherly in nature. It constantly promotes love others and be good to them, and yourself, celebrate life and always try your hardest. I see hope within it, and appreciate that they were trying to dispel the stigma and misconceptions surrounding autism.
I got wrapped up in the episode and began shouting "oh! fuck you lady!" and cheering on Melinda when she educated the mother of the female character on what autism really is. The mother confessed that she gave her daughter up for adoption, because the era she was born in, was into blaming the mothers of autistic children because "without their corrupted uterus, these kids would have been fine" and she couldn't cope. My own mother was told the same. I was an unhappy child, mainly because I couldn't tell anyone what was happening since I didn't understand it. I didn't understand what sensory was let alone that I've got a sensitivity to it. Every time I "acted out" my mother was blamed for "not being able to control her child" and eventually, she began to believe it. It absolutely was not her fault, which is something she's now able to learn. I understood where that mother was coming from, and why she did what she did, and I don't blame her, in fact, I'm now going to praise the writers for that, because it showed real struggle.
The ghost of the deceased boyfriend's purpose in making contact with Melinda was to reunite the girl and her mom. Melinda then has to help the mom learn that her daughter does need her, and always will. Having to educate this woman on the fact that yes, autistic people do feel love was heart wrenching. No one should have to explain to another person that we're people, we hurt, we love, we celebrate, we cry.... We're people too and we feel things like everyone else, but we don't always show it, and that's another symptom all on its own. The mother accepted that this wasn't her fault, that her daughter needed her and tried to work to build a relationship with her. It's not the situation where a parent says "its okay, I still love you despite your autism." it was genuine "you're my child and I love every part of you" which was beautiful.
However, the episode could have been complete without the conversation between Jim and Melinda where he asks shouldn't the ghost just "get over" being autistic, and Melinda retorts with "some people can't let go of who they were in life" and maybe it's not that simple? Maybe he liked his autism, or perhaps his spirit has always been autistic. No matter the purpose, it was extremely hurtful and was yet another jab at the autistic crowd.
Overall, this episode was problematic at best, just as I had expected the instant the man's ghost showed up. The only reason I'm not going to stop watching this, is that it was produced in 2006, before anyone tried to educate others in how to respectfully treat another person. I do appreciate the progressive thinking, but the language could have been friendlier.
